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NEW ACCOUNT!

Mon May 4, 2009, 2:18 PM
Hello fellow stragglers who still venture onto this page!
I bid the welcome from long lost writings and a promise of new stirrings in the light of :iconsapphicalure:

Haha =P okay, enough of the funny talk.
I created a new account for many reasons.
1#. Though i do not have the time to write much these days i have churned up a few things
2#. I don't really feel like they belong on this account. I have grown and thus my writing has too and i feel that from now on it'll be good to start afresh.
3#. it'll clear up some watchers and deviations etc.


This account will remain open, as i've had so much support through here and so many people have favourited and commented on my deviations and journals which from time to time i like to go back and read =] I know without all you guys i wouldnt be the socially functional, happy person i am today =)

So come on over if you still wish to be friends and i promise to submit poetry as much as i can and comment on your own work :heart:

Yours dearly,
Pheobe xxx
:iconsapphicalure:

  • Mood: dA Love

Apologizes with a Smile!

Sun Nov 9, 2008, 12:00 PM
First off, sorry for those who have messaged/noted me and are worried... with college and everything i'm usually too tired etc to come on.. so MAJOR apologizes.

So news on the for front...
I think i'm *brace yourself*... HAPPY. :D

Now don't get me wrong nothing is perfect but i do think that i am actually happy.

:work:College:work:
I am still in college and LOVING it. I have many friends there and it's just... AWESOME! The work is just so much fun and challenging in some places!
I've actually done one half of my Maths GCSE exam and i think i done well. it was only foundation paper because they don't do higher.. but it's still a GCSE!


:heart:Relationships:heart:
Me and Mark are still broken up.. which has affected me for the BETTER! I am much more me than i have been in a long time and i think the break has allowed me to get better. We are still friends and getting along fine. We have both left the option for in the future the chance to try getting back together, but for the moment i am loving being single and having fun. It's amazing how i have regained my independence!


:blackrose:Vices:blackrose:
I HAVEN'T self harmed in god knows how long.. i HAVEN'T had suicidal thoughts since about a month and a half ago.
My eating is majorly better. Far from perfect or normal but it is something i can deal with. I will always love anorexia but i know i cannot LIVE life with her. Finally i am mostly able to eat/not eat without giving into an Eating Disorder completely. And .. though i cannot say i am happy with my body... i think i accept it as mine. I AM beautiful and i deserved to be loved :)


:cake:Birthday:cake:
It is my birthday this Saturday and im going SKYDIVING along with going to town (including a gay bar of course =]). I cannot wait... everything seems so exhilarating! Doing work in college, hanging out with friends, birthdays, (the new World of Warcraft coming out =P).
it's all so GOOD!


:surrender:Apologizes:surrender:
I have missed you all though... i apologise for not having the time or .. depression really.. to come on here and write everyday but my email is on my front page (which i am on most days) and i now have conformed to getting facebook =P (Which contains photos of the AWESOME Halloween party i went to). I hope you are all okay... and i shall try to come on here soon and miss your replies.
Please feel free (And please do) send me poems, stories, pictures, artwork, ANYTHING to me via email or through a note. I would really like to view some work people have been doing but the nearing 1,300 deviations is very daunting.


:rudolph:Christmas:rudolph:
CHRISTMAS CARDS for those who want them will be sent. So leave your name (including screen name) and address in a note/email and i shall send you one =].

Also, just for extra insurance.
My real name is Kimberley Laing for those who want to find me on Facebook.
And my email is BurningCandle@hotmail.co.uk.


:strong:Final:strong:
I LOVE YOU ALL! You have helped me through so much and i wouldn't be here today (literally breathing and alive) if it weren't for all of you. I do not want to lose the friendships i have made and will try to be more active here and stay in contact in any other forms possible.
Best wishes... i am living proof that you can get out of hell... nothing is perfect, im not fully there yet... but for now.. i am HAPPY!

  • Mood: Euphoric

I'm Not Dead Yet

Wed Sep 24, 2008, 4:32 AM
Alot of things have happened since my last journal.. July 22nd.

First off.. Mark has a birthday.

I went to England for a week with my Father and Nan.

I .. me and mark, completed Lego Star Wars: The Original Trilogy.

I started college.
I'm doing Maths, English and Science GCSE's, and doing a BTEC in ICT.
It's alot of fun but very tiring. I don't know very many people.

As of two days ago me and mark split up. Semi mutual i suppose.

My dad is away till Tuesday.

I slept over Sarah's last weekend.

For some reason i created an account on facebook.

My hair is now short and im getting it cut even shorter tonight.

I skipped college today.
I plan to go in to tomorrow.. considering quitting.

As you can tell.. im not very enthusiastic in this. I apologise. I have had some happy times since the last journal.

Main reason i haven't been on: Writing doesn't help anymore.. i cant reveal any more and risk getting hurt.

Sub reason: I'm constantly tired, especially now i'm in college.

I'm sorry to all.. there are some who have sent me messages and i promise i will get round to replying.

To Laura (Fairytale Heart) I will send you a note on here so that you don't have to waste anymore of Alex's credit.

To anyone else, if you want to stay in contact more, ask me for my mobile number, i tend to reply to texts regularly.

  • Mood: Pain
  • Listening to: I can't make you love me - George Michael
  • Reading: Others - Dean Koontz
  • Watching: The L Word (Finished now)
  • Playing: Abe's Oddesey
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Black Tea

Tests, Quizes and Surveys of Doom

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 22, 2008, 9:01 AM

.
:work: Enter At Own Risk :work:


1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30 and then 11:00 then 12:30 and finally 1:45

2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls

3. The last film you saw at the cinema? Kung Fu Panda (Sorry Jonny)

4. What is your favorite TV show? I have many

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? It varies

6. What is your middle name? Rose
7. What food do you dislike? Alot, umm Cream and .Mushrooms the most

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? I don't own many CD's i download, so i'll say Buffy the Musical: Once More With Feeling

9. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive

10. Favorite Sandwich? Salad and Tomato Sauce

11. What characteristic do you despise? Liars or self centered arrogance

12. Favorite item of clothing? My hippie jeans

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Borneo

14. Favorite brand of clothing? I don't have one

15. Where would you retire to? Borneo

16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I think my 13th, when i went to a Chocolate factory with a bunch of girls. It was a laugh. So that's four years ago

17. Favorite sport to watch? Darts

18. When is your birthday? November 15th

19. Are you a morning person or a night person? Vampyre ^_^

20. What is your shoe size? 4

21. Pets? Two cats, Kiara and Simba

22. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Not really

23. What did you want to be when you were little?
A vet mainly. A writer partially and for a small time, to work in a brothel.

24. How are you today? Anxious

25. What is your favorite candy? Depends on my mood

26. What is your favorite flower? A red rose or a Lotus flower

27. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? None, if i had to pick one.. December 25th (How original =P)

28. What is your full name? Kimberley Rose Laing

29. What are you listening to right now? Watching Comedy Store

30. What was the last thing you ate? Spinach Canneloni

31. Do you wish on stars? No

32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Dark Red

33. How is the weather right now? No idea

34. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My Dad

35. Favorite soft drink? Does water count?

36. Favorite restaurant? I don't have one

37. Hair color? Red

38. What was your favorite toy as a child? My sega or playstation

39. Summer or winter? Neither

40. Hugs or kisses? Both

41. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

42. Coffee or tea? Tea

43. When was the last time you cried for a good reason? What validates as a good reason? Last time i cried was earlier though?

44. What is under your bed? I have a Duvian so i dont have an 'under the bed' i have drawers.

45. What did you do last night? Played Animal Crossing, Played Puzzle Pirates, Watched Tv, generally boring things.

46. What are you afraid of? Many things.

47. Salty or sweet? sweet

48. How many keys on your key ring? 3

49. How many years at your current school? Im not in school

50. Favorite day of the week? Wednesday

51. How many towns have you lived in? 4

52. Do you make friends easily? Mostly yes i think


Questions of Controversy


Do you have the guts to answer these Q's and repost as The Controversial Survey?
Sure


Would you do Meth if it was legalized?
Definately, i'd do it now if i could get a hold of it

Abortion. For, or against?
A toughie. Generally im against it, though i do agree there are some cases where it's be okay.


Would our country fall with a woman president?
How could it fall anymore? Ha =P
A woman president would be better i think.


Do you believe in the death penalty?
No

Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
Yes, it makes logical sense


Are you for or against premarital sex?
For, can't be asked to explain why.


Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
Yeah, love is love.

Do you think its wrong that so many Hispanics and immigrants are moving to the USA?
I don't see the big problem about it all.
Alot of them come from a country so miserable they're at risk of getting killed every day.
I think it would be cruel not to let them in, or at least try to help them sort out their country.


A 12 year old girl has a baby. Should she keep it?
Just because she's 12 it doesnt mean the baby couldnt have a good life and that she wouldnt be a good mum.
Also if circumstances were she chose to have sex and was too dull to use a condom... well thats her punishment.


Should the legal alcohol age be lowered to 18?
It is 18


Should the war in Iraq be called off?
Yes, should never have started


Assisted suicide is illegal. Do you agree?
Well.. it IS illegal.
It isnt about agreeing =P
Though i dont thin anesthiasia (however you say it) is morally wrong if the person is in great pain with very little chance of surviving. I.e. with cancer



Do you believe in spanking your children?
No, you can discipline kids without violence, and thats what it is.

Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?
Lol, i'd burn it for free.
I dont hate America at all.. but it's just a flag for crying out loud.



A mother is declared innocent after murdering her five children in a temporary insanity case. Opinion?
I dont think she should be declared innocent, but i think she needs to get help if it was a genuine insanity case.


It's between you and a person who is being kept alive by life support machines. One has to die. Who?
Me

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Not in the least.


Have you done...


Level 1
(1) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
(2) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
SO FAR: 2

Level 2
(3) Are / Been In Love
(4) Dumped someone
(5) Been Fired
( ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 5

Level 3
(6) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(7) Skipped Class
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(8) Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 8

Level 4
(9) Been To Paris
(10) Been To Spain
(11) Been On A Plane ~ Many times!
(12) Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 12

Level 5
( ) Eaten Sushi ~Gross.
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone Through Internet
(13) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 13

Level 6
( ) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(14) Taken Pain Killers
(15) Liked/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(16) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(17) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 17

Level 7
(18) Had A Tea Party
(19) Flown A Kite
(20) Built A Sand Castle
( ) Gone mudding
(21) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 21

Level 8
(22) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(23) Gone Sliding
(24) Cheated While Playing A Game
(25) Been Lonely
(26) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 26

(Level 9 seems to have never been... :?)

Level 10
(27) Watched The Sun Set
( ) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 27

Level 11
(28) Been Tickled
(29) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(30) Been cheated on
(31) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 31

Level 12
(32) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(33) Had Detention
(34) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident (only a small bump nothing major.)
SO FAR: 34

Level 13
(35) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(36) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 36

Level 14
(37) Hated The Way You Look
(38) Witnessed A Crime
( ) Pole Danced
(39) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes
SO FAR: 39

Level 15
( ) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(40) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(41) Swam In The Ocean
(42) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 42

Level 16
(43) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(44) Played Cops And Robbers
(45) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(46) Sang Karaoke
(47) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 47

Level 17
(48) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(49) Made Prank Phone Calls
(50) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(51) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 51

Level 18
( ) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(52) Blown Bubbles
(53) Made A Bonfire On The Beach Or Anywhere
SO FAR: 53

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(54) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 54

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(55) Jumped Off A Bridge ~Small bridge…
(56) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 56

Level 21
(57) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cubes (I like eating ice cubes)
( ) Kicked A Fish
(58) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
( ) Sat On A Roof Top and watched the stars
SO FAR: 58

Level 22
(59) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(60) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
( ) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(61) Recently stayed up for a while talking to someone you care about SO FAR: 61

Level 23
(62) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(63) Climbed A Tree
( ) Had/Been In A Tree House
( ) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 63

Level 24
(64) Believed In Ghosts (Still do)
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(65) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 65

Level 25
( ) Played Chinese Chicken (What is it?)
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(66) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(67) Been Easily Amused (Always)
SO FAR: 67

Level 26
( ) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one
(68) Caught A Butterfly
(69) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(70) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 70

Level 27
(71) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(72) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(73) Cheated On A Test
(74) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someone’s Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
( ) Been Kicked Out Of your House
SO FAR: 74

Level 28
(75) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
( ) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(76) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 76

Level 29
(77) Been Used
(78) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(79) Licked A Cat
(80) Bitten Someone
(81) Licked Someone
SO FAR: 81

Level 30
( ) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex in the rain
( ) Flattened someones tires
(82) Rode in a car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
TOTAL: 82

:relaxed:
Dame Pheobe Kookerburra
  • Mood: Anxious
  • Reading: Need a new book
  • Watching: Open Season
  • Playing: Zoo Tycoon 2
  • Drinking: Water

Decapitated Aves

Journal Entry: Mon Jul 21, 2008, 7:51 AM

.
:work: Enter At Own Risk :work:




This afternoon Simba thought it was a nice idea to bring the bottom half of a bird into our living room.
Licking his paws on the sofa beside me; Myself unknowing to why his paws are especially tasty today.

As with other times he has brought a long dead or still squawking bird into the house, i get upset and angry at him for doing such a thing.


For i am human, hear me roar. :unimpressed:
We live in this 'civilised' society where such things and forbidden and our natural instincts must be controlled and suppressed.
Where we train others to do the same, from children to animals.


It is true that in the one sense Simba had no reason to go hunt for dinner. He gets it provided for him around the clock. Yet it is still in his natural instinct. You cannot train that out of someone/thing.


We as a human race are more despicable though aren't we? We protest about having a civilised society, on having brains and knowledge and in thus having so being greater than any other creature on this 'god forsaken' earth. Yet we kill... we kill for pleasure. Well done Humans! :sarcasticclap: That shows we're better!

Taking other humans out of the question, (although -i believe- an act of cannabilism is seen as more taboo than general murder in our lovely little society. I actually believe there is very little wrong with it. Of course im not supporting people going round killing each other and then devouring the bodies, because i don't believe in killing, but on the moral ethics of eating another human? I have less trouble with that than a person eating an animal.)


Back to the point though, as in say Fox Hunting, we hunt for the pleasure! The pleasure to kill something? And we think WE'RE civilised. It's not in our nature to kill!?
If we did indeed evolve from apes (Which i will rightfully support) then we are not inbuilt to HUNT, we are scavengers. We eat berries, fruits and insects. We need not KILL (although of course eating insects is killing, it is a different than attacking something, killing and then eating, than sitting by a log, putting a sticking in a hole and then licking an ant covered stick.)


As HUMANS before we gained tools and the like we were scavengers. I do not believe it is in our INSTINCT to kill, and even if it was it would be just to feed, not for petty 'reasons'.


It's amazing how something as simple as my cat bringing in a dead bird sparks off philosophical ramblings and feelings of .. hatred.. for the human race. If i'm brutally honest here i despise humans as a race. Not individually don't get me wrong, i love people as in personalities, individuals. And as humans we have done many great and amazing things but i still hate what humans to me are.
If Sarah is reading this, then i know you're boiling with fury. You're the only one who has heard we talk like this and i know you hate it. But it's just how i feel.


Maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right. None of that matters. This is just ramblings of an idiot because one dead bird is never one dead bird.
Failing a board game is never just failing a board game.

Everything means something else to me and i hate it.
Everything says something about Me and the World.
Everything is judged, analysed and probed.
Everything must have an answer and a solution, even if there was nothing wrong in the first place.



... Oh what a chore :unimpressed:

:relaxed:
Dame Pheobe Kookerburra
  • Mood: Rant
  • Listening to: What Can I Do With A B.A In English?
  • Reading: Need a new book
  • Watching: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • Playing: Puzzle Pirates
  • Drinking: Cherryade

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